If Chefs Were Really Rock Stars, Who Would They Be?

The audible buzz these days is that food and music are one in the same. Today, the New York Times notes the evolution of the gourmet experience at U.S. music festivals; over in the U.K., Fergus Henderson plans to crash a music fest with his own side-tent feast; our own New York Magazine recently highlighted indie kids who spend more on menus than on rock shows; and on the West Coast, where former music critic Jonathan Gold recently compared Cochon to Lollapalooza, Food Is The New Rock is confirming many suspicions that celebrity chefs really just want to be rock stars. Which got Grub Street thinking: What if chefs really were rockers? Which ones would they be?

Let's Bring a High-End Indian Restaurant to the Seaport

More please.Photo: Brian J. Lapseritis

The Herald reports that developers want to put a floating restaurant near the Bank of America pavilion, close to the megaplex that houses swankeries like Legal Harborside. The waterfront has enjoyed a boom of fancy new restaurants (Temazcal, Strega, and on and on), and although it'd be great to get some lower-end fare into the mix, chances of that happening seem low. So why not a high-end Indian restaurant? It's something we've discussed here before; for some odd reason, Boston has a dearth of fine-dining Indian spots.

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Grey’s Anatomy Actor Jesse Williams Has a Great Caterer on the Set of His New Movie

Jesse Williams digs inPhoto: Ken Goldstein

On Grey's Anatomy, which wraps its eighth season tomorrow, Jesse Williams's character is probably most famous for deflowering a virginal resident. In real life, though, Williams spends his time seeking out the most soulful food wherever he is, which means tacos on the streets of L.A., grilled oysters in Northern California, or pasta in Rome. The guy is so into it that he even posts photos about his finds online. "I have an iron stomach," the actor says. "I'm not sensationalist about it, but I eat what the people eat wherever I am ... You have to know the rules to break the rules." In between filming two movies around town — the drag racing biopic Snake & Mongoose, which he's also co-producing; and a Western, They Die by Dawn — Williams fuels up on his favorite carnitas, Chicago-style pizza, and pumpkin pie. We'll have what he's having in today's L.A. Diet.

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If You Were a Cheater, Where Would You Eat?

Do not take your mistress to Dunkin' Donuts.

The Globe reports the disturbing news that more than 165,000 Bostonians are members of AshleyMadison.com, the "discreet dating website for married men and women." According to the site's (very carefully researched, we're sure) statistics, Back Bay and Beacon Hill are the two top neighborhoods for trysters. Wealth and questionable morals, always a winning combo!

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Fat Guy Upset That Restaurant Didn’t Keep Pandering to His Gluttony

Like this, but fatter and angrier.

Okay, real quick: Bill Wisth, a 6-foot, 6-inch man who weighs 350 pounds, went to an all-you-can-eat fish joint in Wisconsin, ate a dozen servings of fried fish, then got very, very upset when the restaurant claimed they were about to run out of fish for the night, so they gave him eight more pieces to go and sent him on his way. But it wasn't enough for this greedy glutton. He called the police on the restaurant and, according to CNN, "plans to picket the restaurant every Sunday until something changes." Yes, as others point out, it's like that Simpsons episode where Homer does pretty much the same thing. So congratulations, Bill Wisth, you've made your point while at the same time becoming a cartoonish symbol of America's ever-growing obesity epidemic. We just hope for his sake he doesn't plan on driving to the picket line each week! [CNN via KLTV]

Mustachioed Devra First; MC Slim JB in a Leotard

Globe critic Devra First's chat took a turn for the wacky this morning with both she and Stuff writer MC Slim JB weighing in on their chosen disguises when reviewing restaurants. First suggested that she occasionally dons a mustache, and Slim touted the beguiling powers of spandex unitards. Suddenly we have a whole new level of respect for disguise fiend Ruth Reichl. [Dishing]

Department of Deportment: How (and Why) to Dine Solo

Table for one, please.Photo: Christian Ekblad/iStockphoto

Eating alone in a restaurant is a funny thing: Some people shudder at the thought, others swear by it. The recent announcement of a new diner-pairing site brought the practice to light, and the many, many jokes made at the service's expense indicate that dining alone, especially as a woman, hasn't lost its stigma. (Gakwer's take: "If Women Stop Eating Alone, Whom Will We Pity in Restaurants?") But lots of people — especially industry folks — happily eat alone all the time. Business travelers, too, are often forced to hit the town solo. Everyone has dined alone at some point, either by choice or circumstance, and there are considerable benefits to be had when doing so, provided you take advantage in the right way.

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Todd English in Hot Water (Again) Over Missed Rent Payments

"My accountant handles that!"Photo: Patrick McMullan

When your lawsuit empire threatens to dwarf your restaurant empire, it's time for soul-searching. The Globe reports that beleaguered chef Todd English has been sued for more than $1 million in unpaid rent for Kingfish Hall, the Boston restaurant that he continually insisted would stay open despite all signs pointing to the contrary. (Not one to dwell, he later told the Globe that he'd probably move on to new projects.) Reportedly, English has failed to pony up for more than a year after an initial judgment was filed, so things are getting serious. But, as ever, life somehow isn't all bad for Teflon Todd.

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There’s a ‘New’ Cut of Beef: the Vegas Strip Steak

Moo

Let's put our hands together and offer a round of welcoming applause to the Vegas Strip steak, a "new" cut of beef which today joins the hallowed ranks of other such butchery innovations as the Delmonico, the Tomahawk, cube steak, minute steak, the Newport, the flat iron, and the Denver steak.

Of course David Burke is involved. »

Hey, Scotland: Rashida Jones Has Had Your Haggis, and She Hates It

During a special Scotland segment on Craig Ferguson's Late Late Show, things turned sort of sour between the host and Rashida Jones at the mere mention of haggis. "Oof, ugh," Jones utters. "It's actually delicious," Ferguson replies. "It's just like sausage." Jones, though, would beg to differ: "It's not just like sausage. I don't agree with that." Check out the clip, straight ahead.

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