The Tuesday Non-Report: Come Fly With Us

So, as far as openings and closings go this week, we’ve got nothing. We strongly suspect that anyone who might be opening or closing a restaurant spent the week in a food coma, watching The Wire on DVD. Or was that just us? Anyways, since we don’t have much big news, we thought we’d take a look-see at our old friend, Craigslist’s Food/Beverage/Hospitality jobs section. Looking for a new job? We found you three.

•Have you always dreamed of cable stardom? Didn’t get it together to send in your tape for The Next Food Network Star? You, my lazy friend, are in luck, as there appears to be a casting call for a Snack Man to star in a cable pilot. Quoth the job listing, “The ideal Snack Man is late 20s to early 40s (any ethnicity) with a Big Personality and loads of charisma. Should be smart, fun, funny, have some edge and attitude and genuinely love all types of snack foods. Must be well-spoken, quick on your feet and able to vividly describe with enthusiasm the virtues of an endless variety of snack foods.” Why can’t it be a Snack Lady, yo? Anyways, if you fit the description, do send over your info and pretty please let us know as soon as you find out about the details.
•Good news: apparently, you can live for free in Lexington and all you have to do is cook reheatable dinners for fifteen hours a week. The bad news: we think this ad might have been posted by a serial killer. Right? There are deals in this world that are just too good to be true and this seems like one of them.
•Hey! Do you speak Mandarin? Are you a good flier? If so, you can become a Delta flight attendant! It’s actually a semi-sweet deal: the hours are unpredictable, but you get free or greatly reduced airline tickets, so if you want someone to fund your travel habit, there are worse things you could do.

Casting: Snack Man for Major Cable Network [Craigslist]
personal chef services in exchange for rent free house in Lexington [Craigslist]
Speak Mandarin? Love to Travel? See The World with Delta Air Lines! [Craigslist]

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The Tuesday Non-Report: Come Fly With Us