Yesterday we discussed exploitation claims by immigrant restaurant workers, many of whom have been allegedly subjected to soul-sucking hours, wage violations, and death threats. Today, we bring you a tale of a double-bachelor-degree-having waitress who says Steve Jobs is to blame for her firing.
Maligned waitress Lindsay Garver took to the Huffington Post to unburden herself after oversleeping owing to an iPhone alarm glitch on New Year's Day. The alarm never went off, she showed up late to work, and she was promptly axed.
Her former employer is Somerville, Massachusetts, eatery Foundry on Elm, a popular new spot whose co-owner Dave Flanagan issued the following statement: "Lindsay Garvey was an employee of Foundry on Elm since our opening. Unfortunately, her tardiness on New Year's Day was not an isolated incident and it was with great regret that she was let go."
Tardy Garvey, out of a job and "short on rent" (yet financially stable enough to pay $100/month for iPhone service, thank God), took to HuffPo to personally blame Jobs himself for her lack of one: "So, Mr. Jobs, I'd like to let you know that you have officially, directly contributed to unemployment in 2011. If you had warned me about the glitch, I could have at least picked up a $5, battery-operated alarm clock that would have saved my job." (Note: On HuffPo, she bills herself as a writer-actor, so we're assuming that a more lucrative offer is right around the corner!)
As she tells Jobs, "You may think I am overqualified for a job as a server. You'd be right."
Um, Lindsay, they don't need you to quote Proust after reciting the specials. But they do need you to show up, okay?
To be fair, we at Grub Street realize how arduous simple tasks like waking up in the morning can be without technological aid. How did people wake up before iPhones were invented? We just don't know! If Garvey, who has "two bachelor of Arts" degrees and "experience in a variety of professions" couldn't wake up on time, what hope do we have? After all: She woke up on New Year's Day with that killer résumé. We just woke up with a hangover!