Rock Stars

Are Chefs Really Just Rock Stars With Knives?

The guitars are fine, but put some shoes on, Tom.
The guitars are fine, but put some shoes on, Tom. Photo: Guitar Aficionado

The brutal late nights. The appetite for hedonism and the hunger for naughtiness. The tattoos. In the latest Maxim, Tom Colicchio explains why chefs really are rock stars at heart: “Especially now, a lot of young chefs try to mimic the music they grew up with: the nocturnal lifestyle, the tattoos, the attitude,” Colicchio says. (Attitude? We’re looking at you, David Chang!) But he thinks this is because most chefs really are music fans, even before they discover cooking.

So Colicchio ended up behind the stove, not onstage, but that hasn’t stopped him from fantasizing about what he’d serve his favorite stars. Take the Rolling Stones, for example: “If I were cooking, I think Mick would like fish with a light champagne sauce and a caviar garnish. He wants luxury, but he wants it light. Keith would want something edgier and darker, like squid stuffed with squid ink risotto, cuddle fish and spicy pepper.” He also says that his ideal dinner party would consist of Bob Dylan, Jerry Garcia, Gram Parsons, John Lennon, and Grace Slick. (Hide the booze!) Meanwhile, he envisions Lady Gaga eating “sushi, the more exotic the better.”

Lest we forget, a mere few months ago Tom strapped on a guitar and crooned Warren Zevon’s “Lawyers, Guns and Money” at New York’s Riverpark opening party.

Colicchio’s not alone in his fandom. Recently, Chris Cosentino has offered to fashion Gaga a meat purse. Anthony Bourdain dedicated The Nasty Bits to the Ramones (and, like any respectable rocker, he loathes Billy Joel. Also, he’s beginning to look more and more like Lou Reed. Coincidence?). Mario Batali blasts AC/DC and Moby from his iPod at Babbo (though we’ll deduct points for his friendship with fledgling country star Gwyneth Paltrow).

Hey, if Kanye West can rap about H.A.M., Jay-Z can sell wings, and the Flaming Lips can fashion an EP from an edible gummy-bear skull, chefs can pretend to be rock stars, too!

Eat to the Beat [Maxim]

Are Chefs Really Just Rock Stars With Knives?