This evening, Jerry Remy's hosts Occupy Fenway, a chance for disgruntled sports fans to voice their disgust with the Red Sox's performance. So for those of you whose 401k isn't circling the drain, those of you who enjoy gainful employment, those of you who don't feel victimized by the government, and those of you whose sense of ennui stems solely from sports mishaps: We urge you to unite. Here's why.
5. You can feel the urgency and timeliness of protesting, all within the confines of a comfy, police-free pub.
4. There's an open mic. Your voice will be heard, barring any technical difficulties.
3. Your participation won't make food-truck vendors lose money.
2. Unlike Jon Lester, it's perfectly acceptable for you to throw back several beers before taking center stage.
1. Burgers are just $5. There won't be any fried chicken.
The rage-fest begins at 5 p.m. Best rant wins a $50 gift card. Fans who are enraged but unable to attend should consider Tweeting their woes to @jerryremysgrill, with an #occupyfenway hash tag.