The Twelve Most Egregiously Stupid Fast-Food Employee Mishaps

Gettin’ busy in a Burger King bathroom.

Last week, word spread that a prankster Taco Bell employee possibly relieved himself atop a nacho platter. Turns out the liquid in question may have been soda — which, in Grub Street’s opinion, makes the act even stupider — but his actions nevertheless got us thinking about all other food-industry workers who’ve been canned for spectacularly stupid reasons. (Frankly, there are so many tales of fast-food debauchery that it was hard to narrow it down to a mere twelve entrants.) We’ve got lettuce-stompers, prostitutes, surly spitters, and more! In a few cases, management acted poorly, but more often than not, the employees were to blame. Hopefully these people have gone on to stable jobs elsewhere, but we don’t have high hopes — especially for the teen who took a bubble bath at Burger King.

As we said, earlier this month, a Taco Bell employee in Indiana added extra spice to a nacho platter by urinating on it, then tweeting about it. Cameron Jankowski was fired after bragging, “I’ll piss on anything!” If his friends don’t now call him “Cheese Wiz,” they’re doing themselves a disservice. Photo: William Thomas Cain/2006 Getty Images

Frisky Burger King workers in Ohio were axed last month after shredding lettuce with their dirty shoes. Photos of them stomping on the bins went viral, and their fates were sealed. We’re not sure what happened to the lettuce.

On Christmas Eve 2005, a McDonald’s employee in Indiana shot a would-be lady hamburglar and was promptly canned for packing a weapon. The valiant employee claimed that he was instinctively protecting a co-worker. Happy holidays! Photo: Scott Olson/2008 Getty Images

Foot-long, indeed! In 2008, sandwich artist Kurt Wild was laid (off) for starring in iconic films like Young, Dumb & Hung. Photo: Tim Boyle/2005 Getty Images

In 2008, someone named “Mr. Unstable” shot a video of a teen sudsing it up in a utility sink at an Ohio Burger King while other employees and even the store’s manager watched. It found its way to MySpace, and you know the rest. 

In June, a disgruntled Chili’s waitress took to Facebook and waxed eloquent about shoddy tips: “Next time you tip me $5 on a $138 bill, don’t even bother coming in cause I’ll spit in your food and then in your fuckig [sic] face you cheap bastards!!!!!!!!!” According to Chili’s, she’s “no longer with the company.”

In 2011, Megan Geller, a waitress at the Outback Steakhouse in Illinois, claimed she was fired for donning a tea party bracelet given to her by her mother. Her mom fought back: “They stirred up the wrong hornet’s nest and messed with the wrong mama. When mamas get mad, mamas get to work,” Tonya Franklin told reporters. Sarah Palin, where are you? Photo: Scott Olson/2012 Getty Images

Last month, a Virginia woman filed a lawsuit against the Mi Puerto restaurant, saying that she was fired after refusing to have an abortion. Abigal Shomo was allegedly informed that patrons don’t want to see a “belly” on their servers. Photo: Alexandra Beier/2010 Getty Images

In April, a South Carolina McDonald’s worker lost his job after sweetening a customer’s iced tea with phlegm. Marvin Johnson was charged with “malicious tampering with food.”

In July, Zachary Dexter Pace allegedly robbed Alabama fast-food restaurant Jack’s right after clocking out. Authorities say he returned sporting a flimsy black mask; his coworkers recognized him immediately and assumed he was joking. 

Last summer, a New Jersey Dunkin’ Donuts employee was nabbed in a sting dubbed “Extra Sugar” after propositioning customers with her off-menu services. Undercover cops arrested her when she gave out her number at the drive-thru with promises of a “good time.” 

In 2011, a California Chick-fil-A employee referred to two Asian customers as “Ching” and “Chong” on their receipts. Chick-fil-A adamently denied charges of racism, which makes sense: Their true enemy is gay marriage!