Yesterday, a Florida man shot his drunken roommate in a pork-chop dispute. Thomas Hahn objected to his roomie's views on how to properly cook pork chops, so he planted three bullets in his head. At first blush, this might seem like a slight overreaction, no matter how important it is to get a nice char and a juicy center. But careful research reveals that arguments over pork chops are frighteningly common. Ahead, a short social history.
May, 2012: A Saint Louis family argued over whether pork chops should actually be called "pork steaks," leading to the family patriarch getting shot by his nephew. The victim was one of seventeen siblings and described as a "smart young man."
August, 2011: A Florida chef was charged with attempted murder after stabbing his brother during an argument over pork chops. Chef Gordon Hines allegedly became "aggressive and agitated" because his brother Victor was fixing them for dinner. Hines claimed it all happened because his brother "hates himself."
August, 2004: Oklahoma inmate Ernesto Hernandez-Rosales, in jail for marijuana distribution, stabbed a fellow prisoner with a sharpened pork chop bone. He had a history of violence and previously "placed bodily fluids on a government employee."
August, 1987: A bloody pork-chop brawl made headlines when a Chicago man stabbed his roommate in the chest with a butcher knife over who would get the larger portion of pork. (What is it with roommates and pork?)
November, 1982: Chicago again. This time, two brothers fought over a week-old pork chop, both claiming ownership. Carl Trice stabbed his brother Curtis with an eleven-inch butcher knife, then ran screaming from the family home as the chop burned in a pan. He later testified that he "loved his brother" but insisted just the same that the chop was his.
October, 1981: A toothless North Carolina man gunned down his wife after she served him (chewy?) pork chops. He also shot two of his daughters.
Happily, a documentary titled Pork Chop Day came out in 2009 to educate the public about domestic violence. Consider screening it before cooking pork chops with your (drunk) roommates.
Pork-chop dispute Ends with Man Fatally Shooting Roommate, Cops Say [Orlando Sentinel]