Drunk Guy Holds Pizza Deliverywoman Hostage, Asks Her to Be His Wife

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Come to Papa!

A Boston-area man allegedly held a Papa Gino's deliverywoman against her will because he wanted a wife with his pizza, reports the Boston Globe. Jonathan Quinlan, drunk at the time and having clearly misinterpreted the whole "you ring, we bring" concept, was arrested for kidnapping.

On the smarmy-pizza-crime spectrum, this guy ranks somewhere between the creepster Pizza Goat guy who was charged with sexual assault and the clueless idiot who plowed his car into a pizza joint and proceeded to order despite, you know, driving through a wall. On the plus side, how long until we hear about a Valentine's Day wife-and-pizza deal from Pizza Hut?

Pizza delivery woman allegedly kidnapped on the job in Framingham [Globe]

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